Dinner Time

Me: Hey, Ev. I made something new for dinner tonight. Try it and tell me what you think. 

Evan: (A few minutes later.) Damn good. (Takes another bite.) Yeah, damn good. 😂

I think the zucchini chicken casserole is a keeper. 

Funnies

Today both boys had long awaited hair cut appointments. They had barely gotten out of the driveway when Evan called to say they needed a debit card. Evan has his own card, so this made no sense. In the time it took me to find mine, Evan told me he was at the Dairy Queen drive thru when he dropped his card inside the slot the window rolls down. He was unable to slide a finger in the slot to pull it out. He and Wes are now taking the door off of the Jeep in the hopes of turning it upside down and having the card slide out. 

When the boys returned, Keagan told me he was most pleased with the new girl, Sierra, who cut his hair. (This is a huge compliment because Marissa has been the only one allowed to cut his hair since the Great Clips fiasco four years ago. I’ve been mentally preparing him for six months that he would need to let someone else cut it while his “girl” was at home with her new baby.) Wes stopped him mid-story and asked him why he had to have a new girl. Keagan replied, “Marissa’s on fraternity leave.” 

I Prayed for This

Before I had kids, I prayed for boys. Specifically, a house full of boys. From time to time, Wes reminds me of that prayer. Like today when I heard this.

"Hey, Mom! I just farted so hard that the button on my jeans popped again! I must have some distinguishing farts."

I never prayed for boys and expected these words to be said in my house, much less for years on end. Thank God my prayers were answered, though. I can't imagine it any other way.

He Said It

Me: Hey, Keagan. What would you like to drink? Lemonade? Sprite?

Keagan: No, I want to try the rum punch.

Me: I think there's a bowl game on TV tonight.

Keagan: It's the Independence Bowl, Mom. It will only be worth watching if there are hot cheerleaders. 

Evan: There are too many meaningless (football) bowls: Auto Zone, Music City, Popeyes, Chick Fil A Peach Bowl...

Me: But the Popeye's Bowl game is in the Bahamas. That can't be all bad. 

Evan: If they serve peach shakes to the players at the ChickFilA Bowl, then that's the one I want to play in. 

Keagan: Mom, do I look okay? I mean Dad's wearing a button up. E is wearing a polo, and I have on sports wear. 

Me: You look fine. We're just going downstairs to eat. 

Keagan: But I gotta look good. You never know what might happen. 

Me: Like what?

Keagan: A hot cheerleader might want to check me out. 

Evan: This milk doesn't taste like milk in the United States. What kind of milk is it? Taste it and tell me if you think it's goat or llama milk.

Evan: All Grenada needs to be perfect is a Chick Fil A and milk chocolate...

Keagan: And hot chicks.

He Said It

Keagan: "Mom, I've been thinking. I think tonight I'll baptize myself in the bathtub. Can you do that? Baptize yourself?"

Then after a short pause.

Evan: "Don't even think about it, Mom. I am not up for baptizing anyone tonight. Anyways, I don't have a flowing white robe to wear."

Tree Lighting Ceremony

Christmas already? It's really hard for me to think about Christmas when I am surrounded my warm weather, flip flops, and palm trees here in Georgia. While in Texas, though, the boys attended the annual tree lighting ceremony in Wes's hometown. Would you know the boys were seen on the local 6:00 evening news during a spot taken at the ceremony? 

Thankfully, the camera man deleted the footage of Keagan doing the robot while Christmas carols played in the background. 

Keagan thinks he is now famous, but he has no idea how famous he could have been had the greater East Texas population caught a glimpse of his version of the robot on live TV.

He Said It

Because I never want to forget how precious it is to have six and seven year old boys...

- This fog is so thick! I can't see jack!
- Who's Jack? Oh my gosh, Mom! Did you run over him?

- Mom, just tell me. Is Indiana Jones going to live or die?
- I'm sure he has another trick up his sleeve, and he will beat the bad guys.
- But Indie doesn't have a shirt on, Mom. Where will he hide his tricks?

- Keagan, those knee pads are not going to fit you. They are made for an adult.
- Mom, did you forget? I'm six now! I think they'll fit just fine.

- Mom, this twenty cents is for you.
- What's this for?
- I'm paying you for being such a good mom.

- Mom, I think I want to take a bath in the cajuzzi.
- OK. Let me run the water.
- (a few minutes later Keagan gets in the warm water filled with bubbles) I could get used to this, Mom. This is the life.

Fashion Friday

Yep, we go to the football and soccer wearing these beauties. Hey, you never know when a stream of sweat will fall down your face during a key play. With the temps hovering at 47 degrees in the early morning hours, it is a very distinct possibility. 

However, this fashion statement is not limited to the ball field.

We also feel compelled to wear these to school. I guess I have failed to realize that first graders really work up a sweat with all the talk of the combinations of ten. And maybe Keagan got really nervous when he met the mail lady and climbed into the mail truck during community helpers week. Both boys assured me, the 80s sweat bands are a necessity at school so they must be sweatin' over something.

Just in the past few days Evan has decided one band is as good as two, and so sporting the Michael Jackson one-glove look, he is off to school and off to football. The fashionista is getting closer to the current decade.

I wish I could get him just as interested in wearing underwear. 

Driver's License Game

In February we drove to Georgia to house hunt. It was a nine hour drive and we were looking for something to occupy the time - something besides another episode of Ben10 or Scooby Doo. I introduced the License Plate Game (or Driver's License Game as the boys call it), and we began a competition, albeit small competition, to see who could find the most plates from different states.

It didn't take long for Evan to catch on. He was soon finding them faster than I did. After five hours, I wondered if introducing the game was a really good idea because as soon as I dozed off in the front seat, he would yell "Oregon" or some other state name from the back seat and my desire to sleep was overcome with my desire to win the game. And after the fifth explanation that Pittsburgh, as in Pittsburgh Steelers as a license plate holder, was not a state, I allowed it to be a state in the name of peace and my own well being.

Even now we will walk through a parking lot or drive across town and yell state names at each other. Last week he found California in the parking lot of swim school, and he started yelling "In Your Face, Mom" and unbeknownst to us, the driver was in the car. She got out of her car to investigate the ruckus and I could only say, "It is just a game."

I really thought Keagan was beginning to play along with us. He called out a few states and they were all pretty reasonable. I was impressed. That was until he called out "Indonesia."

Maybe he doesn't have the game down yet, but that is just as well. He will never be able to beat me or Evan. 

On the Look Out for Hot Chicks

Our last day of spring break was Monday, and while the boys were upstairs playing, I overheard this conversation.

K: Let's go find us some hot chicks and kiss them.
After various car noises, I hear them shuffling their feet to destination aka "Hot Chicks" - all of about four feet down the hallway. The conversation continues.
K: Here we are, Evan. Find a hot chick.
E: Hum...I don't like any of these girls.
K: But this one has blond hair.
E: I like girls with brown hair best.
K: This one is kinda brown.
E: They need to have LONG brown hair.
K: What about this one?
E: Yeah, but she has a big nose.

I may have a tendency to exaggerate now and again, but I could not have made this up if I tried. 

He Said It

Keagan: I need some of that "whipped cream that you put on your body to stop itchin'. Can you find me some?"
After several more clues I was able to deduce he was in need of lotion.

Evan asked during church last week: "Has anyone in our family ever robbed a bank?"
I responded in the negative and asked why he wanted to know.
His answer: "Well, that is a pretty bad sin, and I want to know if my family does that kind of bad stuff."

Keagan: "Daddy, are you going to fight the Navy today?"
Wes: "No, Keagan, I don't fight the Navy."
Keagan: "Well, are you going to shoot them with your gun?"


Me: "Keagan, put on a hoodie before you go outside to play."
Keagan: "I'll wear this one. What does this one say on front?"
Me: "Old Navy"
Keagan: "Oh, no! Not that! I don't cheer for the Navy team. Only Army."

Jeopardy: Installment Number 4

Here is another installation of the humorous things my boys have said lately in the form of the popular game show Jeopardy.

1. When a football team kicks the ball down field to the opposing team.

What is to pump the ball?


2. When the football team moves the football a total of ten yards on the third attempt.

What is a third down conversation?


3. In February the final NFL game of the season that determines the best team of the year.

What is the Super Bolt?


There is a theme here. Since last July, Evan has been all about football. Keagan has now joined him, and if they aren't playing Madden 10 on the Wii, playing a game of football in the den, punting the ball in the backyard, or playing quick hit on the web, then the boys are probably asleep.

Spring football season can't begin quickly enough because I am certain something will be broken soon enough if the play continues in my home.

He Said It

I love how the boys misuse English vocabulary. Here's the latest: 

Keagan:

The round cookies used to make vanilla pudding.

What are waivers?

The basket that is used in grocery stores to carry food items and small children.

What is a boogie?

Evan:

The name of the international restaurant famous for pancakes.

What is Hip Hop?

The name given in the game of golf for a score of one stroke over par.

What is a boogie?

He Said It

At home we have been discussing the new bodies we will be given when we reach heaven. After running all afternoon and scoring 10 goals at the soccer game, Keagan said, "I don't need a new body. I like the one I have because it is really fast."

Last week Evan was playing a new game on the Wii that requires you to hit a moving target. After missing a couple of times he exclaimed, "Jeremy Christmas this is hard!"

Motorcylces and Tigers

On our way home from school today, Keagan said, "Mom, I want a motorcycle." Evan responded, "No, you don't Keagan. They are dangerous." Keagan said, "No, they are fun!" This exchange epitimizes our boys. Keagan is adventurous and daring. Evan is prudent and cautious.

Further down the road Keagan asked, "Mom, do tigers shave?" Assuming he was mentally comparing a lion and a tiger, I tried to explain that tigers don't have manes like a lion. He replied, "No, I was wondering why the tiger has shaving cream around his face. Does he shave?"