He Said It

On Saturday Keagan pulled out some early emergent readers and read them with such fluency that I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I think he even surprised himself because he put the fourth book down and said, "I don't know how I do it, Mom. I just don't know how I do it. Where did all that reading come from?"

Gator Soccer

Gator soccer and the fall season is in full swing. After our terrible losses at Jekyll this summer, I really thought that it would be a miracle if we scored a point this fall, much less win a game. This week, certain we would be up against some stiff competition, I set my collapsible chair, Keagan's myriad of Super Hero Squad figurines, and our twelve bottles of water away from any other Gator family members just in case I lost control and began ranting on the sidelines. However, Sunday's game was an easy win with a score of 9-1 and a victory for us. I guess it could have been even worse for the Mighty FireAnts if we hadn't played keep-a-way the entire second half. Poor guys. If they hadn't needed to expend so much energy keeping their Jewish hats secured to their heads, then they might have been a bit more focused on the ball. But as it stood, the skull caps fell off with every hard run or big kick. It was all a bit distracting for me, but left me thinking: Don't you wear bobbie pins? The Jewish parents were probably just as perplexed with our before and after game cheers of "Praise the Lord." Something I still find a bit odd to hear while on the soccer field.

Evan played defense the entire game. He has preferred this to forward even when we were still in Virginia, but this fall he has secured a spot in the backfield. Lately, he has had this burning desire to play goalie. I will be honest and tell you he is really not that good as a goalie. I have even tried to tell Evan this, but he doesn't believe me and tells me I "need to understand soccer to understand how good he is." This week coach agreed to let him play only because we were up by six points and the FireAnts hadn't gotten the ball past the mid-field line the entire first quarter. And wouldn't you know the FireAnts were awarded a penalty kick while Evan was in the box. I thought I would faint awaiting that big kick. I closed my eyes, put my hands over my face, and at the last minute decided to peek through my fingers - just in time to see the ball go wide. It wasn't even close. Thank the Good Lord because the goal is big and Evan is not.

We do it all over again next weekend. Just maybe without the Jewish hats and Evan as goalie.

Bloody Mary

I was quite pleased this afternoon to pick the boys up at school and have the first question out of Evan's mouth be, "Is Bloody Mary a real person?" Assuming his question was in reference to Queen Mary I, Henry VIII's daughter and her quest to return England to Catholicism, I couldn't wait to tell him her life story.

And so I began. Before I even got to her killing Lady Jane Gray, though, he said, "Just tell me about the mirror, Mom."

"The mirror?" I was stumped.

"Yeah, can I say her name three times and see her face in the bathroom mirror?"

I had the wrong Bloody Mary. Well, of course, I did. I mean how could I have ever thought my seven year old would have had any interest in European royalty? I curtly replied, "No, Evan, that Bloody Mary is not real, and no, you will not see her face in the mirror if you say her name three times."

But my answer would not suffice. We spent the next half hour watching homemade You Tube videos of Bloody Mary reenactments (all of which contained three candles in a badly decorated bathroom) and reading enough folklore to make your head spin.

This means just one thing, Folks. When the kids at school begin sharing their scary stories and retelling their hokiest ghost stories, Halloween is upon us. I think I am supposed to be excited, though, because (you might remember from last Mother's Day) according to Keagan, I like to dress up in costumes in my spare time.

In reality, though, Halloween brings little joy and lots of unnecessary stress for me because I am now responsible for finding the most obscure, no-one-has-ever-seen-it or the most popular but never the correct size costume, and once I find the said costume, the boy will have changed his mind and decided that the one costume you saw two weeks ago, the one that is no longer available, is the costume choice of the year. The crying, the should'ves and the wails of self-pity...It's just all too much for me when I find costumes ridiculous to begin with.

Oh, my blood pressure is rising with just the mention of it. I'm thinking I could really use a Bloody Mary right now. Not the queen, not the folklore but the drink. With a double shot of Vodka.

Undefeatable

The Bears' football season was "undefeatable" after today's win over the Cowboys 18-12, or this is at least Keagan's descriptor of the season. See, I told you we had some problems with adjectives in this house. By the way, Keagan won another blue slip award this week, and again it was from PE. This time he was able to jump rope. After yet another reminder from school that Keagan still needs practice with the letters p, a, e, b, and o, I am resigned to his label as an athlete. Well, almost. I intend to give academics one last push.

I hope no one is reading my blog for the first time. If you are, I am totally using sarcasm in that last statement.

Today's game was interesting. I almost had to leave the field, and it wasn't by choice. You see another player clothes lined Keagan, and when I ran onto the field to protest the roughness of the play, I was told to return to my collapsible chair, my multiple pieces of photography equipment, my after-the-game snack bags, and be quiet. Never mind that Keagan wasn't even carrying the ball, we don't play tackle ball, or that we sign our pledge of Christ like behaviors on the field. This little kid seemed to think he was Alex Barron, and it was perhaps the memory of last Sunday's game between the Cowboys and Redskins that such powerful emotions were released, and I was on the pee-wee football field yelling, "This is not gonna happen again....Or else." I really had no "or else" in mind, but I threatened it just the same. It happened again and again, though, so the opposing team mustn't have taken my threat too seriously. Anyway, the Bears complete a perfect season, and we have yet another touchdown to highlight the perfect season. 


Wes, when you are watching this please tell the guys I have no idea how that crazy lady keeps getting in these video clips. I am so ready to be rid of her!

Blue Slip Award

Maybe if the teacher thought one proud mama would post a picture of her son with the award, then he would've created a name a bit more catchy. However, Keagan came home with the blue slip award from PE. When I asked why he got it, he said, "It's because I am speed." 

Hence, our reason for receiving a physical education award prior to any academic award. We still confuse nouns as adjectives.

No worries, though. All of that speed will get him into college one day. (Please read the irony in that statement.)

Dozens of Cans of Deodorant

I thought our last weekend together as a family should be spent doing something fun in the city, but today's heat index of 106 erased any desire for that. After two hours in the sun at the morning football game, there was no way I wanted to be outside for even a second.

So our last weekend at home together was spent playing football, purchasing cream slushies at Sonic, sitting around the TV watching college football and eating hamburgers cooked on the grill.

I know it sounds like major excitement and you might be jealous of our fun. Let me compound that jealousy by adding that we have also spent the day doing laundry and loading a foot locker with enough toiletries to last a minimum of fifteen months. If we weren't living in a military town where the purchase of a dozen cans of deodorant, six tubes of toothpaste and ten cans of shaving cream just prior to a deployment is commonplace, then we might have raised a few eyebrows.

Because I know Wes will need proof when he gets to desert training and begins to promote the athletic abilities of his sons while sitting around cots in a tent, I upload the following video. Never mind that the possibility of having power is remote and the chance that the director of training will allow any form of technology is even more remote.

When his soldiers ask about all that shrieking and cheering taking place in the background, Wes is prepared to say that she is a complete stranger.

Disney Trip

I don't think anyone really wants to see a video of our vacation to Disney World. However, I will post pictures just so that Wes will have access to them while he is away. May he remember only the best memories of the trip and have no recollection of late afternoon melt downs courtesy of our boys, rude Spaniards, or the smell of a bus full of sweaty people.

Disney is no longer the happiest place on Earth with the mention of one simple word:

Guest Starring Evan as Ferb

Evan auditioned and won a role in TCE's 2nd grade musical, "Phinneas and Ferb." Although he originally auditioned for Phineas, Evan won the part of Ferb, the quiet, intelligent, focused, laconic, and opinionated wise guy. In other words, one could make the point that he is playing himself. It is truly a blessing that he is Ferb instead of Phineas because he now has very few lines to memorize. After preparing for auditions this last week, I really wanted to tell Evan to be content with a place in the choir.

Then I passed the arduous responsibility of nightly line rehearsal to Wes. It wasn't long after this I decided he needed a leading role.

I just realized that this probably means we are now responsible for a costume. My fingers still haven't recovered from the hot glue required for the costume for the David and Goliath production, AND I have no idea how you elognate a child's neck.

I am back to thinking choir member might be the more appropriate placement.

Astronaut in the Works

About fourteen months ago we took the boys to Disney World for our annual family vacation. After a week of theme parks, I vowed to not return. The heat. The crowds. The long lines. The stupid mouse ears. It was all just too much for me.

When Wes learned he was going to deploy, we decided we needed to take one last family vacation during his block leave. We toyed with all kinds of ideas, but ultimately, the boys decided Disney was the place to go. I tried everything to dissuade them and despite my gentle reminders of sweaty people, crying toddlers, impatient Europeans, and the photography crazy Japanese, it didn't work. And so after saying I would never return, I am here. At Disney. In the heat. With the crowds. With the long lines. Just short of going crazy. Certain that if I catch a whiff of another sweaty human, I might just fall over the edge.

But if there has been a highlight or a moment that has made the trip worthwhile, it was our morning spent at Magic Kingdom riding Space Mountain. Last year the ride was closed due to renovation. Keagan had no idea what to expect when we hopped on it first thing this morning, and I think he was really shaken up after his first ride. He had no intentions of riding it again, and yet, when the three of us decided we were going to get right back in line for it, he ultimately decided to ride, too. While in line the second time he told us, "I decided that if I'm gonna be a astronaut, then I just gotta get use to flyin' in the dark. Because space is dark and cold. It is bumpy and scary. This ride will get me ready for my time in space."

And this simple statement almost brought tears to my eyes.

Praise the Sweet Baby Jesus in the Manger, my baby wants to be an astronaut! For years he has said he wants to be a Nascar driver, and this thought has disturbed me so much that I have been unable to articulate it until now.

Now that he no longer aspires to drive fast cars for a living.

For this reason, I have decided the heat, the long lines, and the crowds of Disney World are totally worth it! Afterall, the rides of Mission to Mars, Space Mountain, and Astro Orbiter have opened the eyes of my little boy to the possibility of the usefulness of speed somewhere other than on a track.

Character Shots

No trip to Disney is complete without character appearances. Here's a few of my favorites.

Yes, I know they are wearing the same outfit and standing on the same side of the characters in each shot, but when you can get both boys to look at the camera AND have Evan look like he is having fun, then you have something special. To have it happen multiple times in one day is really just phenomenal. Maybe it had something to do with just filling their bellies with dinner that included Micky Mousse.

Snake Charmer

We have now begun week two of block leave. Wes and I, for the first time in eight years, were at home together without kids for an entire 7.75 hours on Monday, and because we are so romantic and value time as a couple, we spent the morning spreading snake pellets around the perimeter of the yard. It was a necessity, in my opinion, because on Saturday afternoon my SIL and I were startled to HEAR a snake in the tree line. Upon closer inspection, we actually SAW the black racer slithering with its head upright just as if it were a viper in a basket escaping to the music of a flute.

And I FREAKED OUT.

Seeing a snake is one thing, but when you hear the snake before you see it, it can only mean one thing. It's huge and you better

RUN!

And I did.

Straight to the garage to grab a shovel to kill the snake that confused me as its charmer.

Unfortunately, the black racer ran, too, and it was gone before I could return with the shovel. Perhaps I should have had Keagan run for the recorder to subdue him with song, but I was in a state of shock and had only one thing on my mind: KILL the SNAKE.

Relieved that the pellets had us now snake free, we spent Tuesday together in Savannah on the river and near City Market. While we were there, we found an antique store that specializes in pieces from China, pieces once housed in temples that were destroyed to make room for new dams. If the American antique dealer had not stepped in at the right time, all of these amazing pieces of furniture would have been destroyed along with the temples.

I found a bright red hand carved wooden table that I just had to have. Maybe if we hadn't spent so much on snake pellets we could have swung the $2500 purchase.