Burning Questions Part 2

Evan: Mom, when you played basketball were you playing for a college team?

Me: No, Honey. I was 13 and in the 8th grade.

Me: Keagan, did you turn on the heat?

Keagan: Yes, my hand was cold.

Me: Your hand???

Keagan: Yeah, my hand.

Parent: Miss Toole! Which middle school does your older son attend?

Me: You mean Evan? Oh, Honey. Evan is only in third grade.

Parent: What do you feed him?

Evan: Mom is that guy gay?

Me: Yeah, he seems pretty happy to me.

Evan: OK, but is he gay?

Pinning Ceremony

I have been collecting the extra ka-ching from Wes's promotion since 01 JAN, but today was his official pinning date. It took place on the shores of the Persian Gulf.

I have no idea the name of the other officer, but I am sure he must be an upstanding man and soldier because Wes waited three weeks for his arrival so that he could do the honor. I am bummed to have missed the event for obvious reasons, but also because after fourteen years in the Army, I finally can sing the words to the Army song. I would have done you proud, Honey, with my solo! And I say solo because I just realized that they don't even play the Army song at pinning ceremonies. Maybe by retirement I will get the rituals and traditions memorized.

One question, Wes. Did you yell "Rock of the Marne" after the ceremony? They boys want to know if anyone returned your call with "Screamin' Eagles!"

He's Not Ready for an Allowance

Evan wants an allowance. I have agreed to $5 a week if he can complete two chores during the week: make his bed daily and take out the trash on trash days.

It's pretty simple, right?

Day #1: Saturday - He didn't make his bed.
It's the first day of the deal. I ignore the mistake to see how long it takes before he remembers he wants an allowance.

Day #2: Sunday - Again, he didn't make his bed.
This is said in the car on the way to church.
"Oh, you mean I have to do chores on the weekend, too? Mom, that was never discussed. I think I should have the weekends off."

Day #3: Monday - He made my bed (to make up for Saturday), and he made his own bed. He checked the trashcan to see if it was full enough to take outside. He's determined to correct the wrong so he can get the money to buy Squinkies. I have no idea what these are, but the product has been located on the web and the webpage has been conveniently saved to my favorites. I think this is a hint.

Day #4: Tuesday - He made my bed but not his own.
He says I pushed him out the door before he could get to it. Ohhhh, but you had enough time to play a quick game of basketball and check the highlights on Sports Center?

Day #5: Wednesday - He put the trash can on the curb, but he didn't put the trash bags in the can. He didn't make his bed.
He wants to know when I am ordering the Squinkies.

Day #6: Thursday - He says, "I have an idea, Mom. Just pay me for the good grades I get. Not every mom has a son that is the top AR points earner AND gets straight As all the time."

I have a son who still expects to get a crisp $5 bill on Friday afternoon. His world will crumble when I refuse to pay him and his dream of a new Squinkie collection are put to rest. You will hear his cries of protest all the way in Texas. I am sure of it. He will say I am unfair. He will say I lied to him.

I will tell him he's smart, he keeps straight As all the time; he didn't keep his end of the deal. What's not to understand?

Showing 'Em How It's Done

It all made sense today.

 I now know why Keagan has been spending so much of his free time listening to music and practicing his dance moves. Today was the Just Dance AR party for the students who met their reading goals for the second quarter. Keagan currently has the most points of any first grader, and as the point leader, he got to choose the first song.

After school, I asked how it went, and he said, "Don't worry, Mom. I showed 'em how it's done."

Everything's Bigger in Texas...Even Fat Lips

Oh, happy day! As of today, I have Texas plates on the car driven everywhere but Texas. It has been a long fourteen years since I have been able to wear the plate of home.

The boys are proud Texans, too, even if they have never lived in the Great State. However, this picture was actually just a ploy to get Keagan in front of the camera. His big fat lip is not your imagination. He jacked up his face last night when he was playing on the perimeter of the tub, slipped on the wet surface, and hit his face on the toilet lid. There was blood, yells, blood, chipped teeth, and cries before I finally got out of him what happened. Today, too embarrassed to say that he fell and hit his lip on the toilet, he went to school and told his friends that Evan beat him up. After school, a group of first graders came to Keagan's defense, and while encircling Evan like soldiers about to launch a major attack, demanded to know why Evan would he do such a thing. Evan played it cool. He knew how nervous Keagan was about the kids learning the truth. His reply, "That's what brothers do. Now who wants to play some football?"

Keagan's secret is safe...for now.

And I have Texas plates.

Come On, Man!

This is what I overheard the boys talking about on the way home today.

She is such a diva; all the girls crowd around her in the gym. I don't get it either because she is so annoying. Did you see that powder she had on her face? She had white powder all over her face and red stuff on her cheeks. It looked really bad, but all the girls thought she was so cool.

I interrupted. Wait!!! You mean to say a first grade girl was wearing make up today at school?

Evan: Oh, Mom! That's nothing. There was a kindergartner wearing masquerade and eye lighter yesterday. 

Keagan's Media Festival Project

Every year the kids at the local elementary school complete media festival projects. Last year Evan's project (his web page on "The States of Matter" created within a small group) made it to the national level and earned the award "recognized." This was quite the honor. Keagan's project on "I Like Sports" made it to the district level and then didn't score high enough to advance to state. This weekend he completed the project he plans to submit to this year's festival. He is so hoping for a trophy this year!