Injury Report #2

I am laid up in bed tonight with hot stones wrapped around my calf and my foot elevated on pillows. I wish I could say that this is a result of a weekend get-a-way to a resort and spa. No such luck.

I re-injured my calf on Wednesday. Actually, I tore my calf muscle. Again. This time I can say I did it with actual physical exercise, but because I did it while running a relay race with my ten year old students at Field Day, I am not really sure that I can take much pride in my injury. It all started when the PE teacher told the classroom teachers we needed to show our kids "how its done." Who was I to argue? I lined up on the starting line ready to show all 110 fourth graders that I was the coolest teacher EVER. Two of the four teachers chickened out, and I mumbled under my breath something that resembled "You are so weak!" Meanwhile I was standing in line raring to go and trash talking like I was about to bring it.

The PE teacher yelled go and I realized I still had on flip flops. I flung those things as far as the East is from the West and took off. It took me three steps to realize something felt funny in my leg. I rationalized in a five second time frame that I had given birth with no pain meds, so I could definitely run with a funny feeling in my calf. The funny feeling got worse though as I rounded the bend, and I had to make a decision. Run to win or run to finish. Of course, I chose to win.

I looked to my left and realized I was in last place. LAST PLACE. Oh, heck no! I ran with all my might and came in third, behind a 20 something private and a 40 year old retired first sergeant who takes PT to levels most don't know exist. I was happy with my performance. After all, I didn't come in last, and I beat the teacher in the lane next to me.

Then it hit me. Pain. Pain like I might die. Sweet baby lord Jesus it hurt. I spent the rest of field day hanging out under the oak tree like all of the other over 50 year old teachers praying the pain in my calf was just a cramp. Hoping it was only a tight muscle that would loosen with a continuous walk around the oak tree.

I have spent the last two days explaining to everyone I pulled a muscle on a relay race that involved hula hoops and a frisbee. I have also received the most unsolicited, crazy advice on how to handle my injury. My favorite was the suggestion to eat two teaspoons of mustard. For the record, I did not find that solution scientifically sound and chose to sleep with a bar of Ivory soap in between the sheets instead.

If I didn't have pain killers coursing through my veins, I would be drinking right now. Something to heal my wounded pride. I have vowed to race again on the last day of school. A backyard obstacle course will be constructed this weekend, complete with hula hoops and frisbees. Training will begin as soon as I can stand on both legs without cursing.